這幾天都收到你們有意無意的小心意，很窩心！ 在這初冬的季節份外暖心。
「幸福小師奶」頂著大肚子也為我買喉糖。讓我這個本來快咳到「膶」都快要飛埋出嚟的人，還想裝著咳給你再寵多一回。你的母愛越來越濃呢！
這個很少說話的「世嶽」兄也說我的聲線低沉了。連我自己也察覺不到，可能我比較喜歡低沉的聲線，因為聽起來比較迷人… 或是有助於聖誕詩班唱Alto吧！
還有這個「緊急人」帶來的歌。你還記得幾個星期前我說過要的，亦不只是那首我想要的，還有數不盡的其他。在你心情這麼糟糕的時候你還為我費心，感動。
其實感恩或埋怨只是一念。凡事於好處著眼，小事上尋找涵意，能看到別人在自己身上花過的心思，人也開懷了！若要可憐兮兮卑微的乞求被愛，倒不如慷慨的施予，會換來意想不到的收穫。
快趕去在別人身上作一點小事，小事能化成大誠，滿溢我們間的友情。
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Real Bloody and Sweaty Struggles
Jesus aches… as painful as we are when we strive through those real bloody and sweaty struggles in our spiritual walk. It makes a whole lot of different to aware that Jesus cares.
Let's not spent the lonely time alone, Jesus listens.
Let's not let go and drown to the bottom of the ocean, Jesus is reaching out his arm.
Let's not cry at the corner alone, we can weep together.
Let’s not armlessly fight Satan’s attack when we can pray hand-in-hand.
Let’s let God’s love enveloped us and spoke through the time we spent together.
The reality is irresolvable and irreversible, but there’s HOPE!
Let's not spent the lonely time alone, Jesus listens.
Let's not let go and drown to the bottom of the ocean, Jesus is reaching out his arm.
Let's not cry at the corner alone, we can weep together.
Let’s not armlessly fight Satan’s attack when we can pray hand-in-hand.
Let’s let God’s love enveloped us and spoke through the time we spent together.
The reality is irresolvable and irreversible, but there’s HOPE!
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
徹底明白…
上帝是愛與慈悲、憐憫，同樣也是公義、忌邪、聖潔、滿有權能的神。對於上帝的愛與慈悲、憐憫，似乎沒有什麼難度去接受，因為給上帝愛著是多麼幸福的一件事。在信主的一刻，主耶穌在十字架為我們的罪被釘死，神的愛盡顯於此。每當想起主為我走上十架的時候，內心攪動，主的愛成為最大的動力去愛其他人和跟隨神。但是主十字架的義意不止於此，在這十字架的背後，有另一幅圖畫。在耶穌基督血流滿面，片體鏻傷和釘痕的背後是神的震怒，是神對罪如此的憎恨，寧願犧牲愛子耶穌，把罪所帶來的死亡和羞辱盡傾在耶穌身上。只看到神是愛、慈悲與憐憫，並不完全明白神愛、慈悲與憐憫。在接受上帝的愛以先，必須經過上帝的公義、忌邪、聖潔和權能，也必須嚴苛的 對付自己的罪，到痛不欲生、恨之入骨的地步。當自己也無法接納自己是如此污穢不堪的一刻，聖靈引我到髑髏地十字架面前，看見掛在木頭上的主，在四目交投的 一刻… 「主呀！為什麼？值得嗎？」主看到我的痛衪也痛，衪看到我的淚也哭了。「我就是愛你。就這麼簡單。一切也不用說。只管接受。」然後，雙膝跪下在十字架前流 淚痛哭悔改。這一幕必須經過，也必須重覆經過，以免我這個善忘的人忘記主有多愛我，有多痛恨我犯罪。
Monday, October 8, 2007
長路盡處有燈火
從來能夠精誠所致的事情都教人鼓舞。誠意就是一件事情是否完滿的一個很重要的關鍵，而非成敗得失。
人生裡一場又一場的考驗，其實是上主恩賜我們蛻變的機會。一個段落的結束，另一個段落的開始；戰勝了這一個自己，是為壯茁的去迎戰下一個更強的自己。
長路盡處的燈火意味著黑夜不會長久的。在失落中的你就咬緊牙關走下去吧！燈火的背後或許是光明，或許是另一條更長更黑的路，不要怕，只要緊捏主的手，每一段路的盡頭總有歇腳處、有盼望，為要預備我們進入完全永恆的光明之中。不放棄便是對生命的誠意。就這樣帶著誠意向前邁進，雖然我也同在摸索，但必在你的附近，而主必在我們長路盡處的前方。
人生裡一場又一場的考驗，其實是上主恩賜我們蛻變的機會。一個段落的結束，另一個段落的開始；戰勝了這一個自己，是為壯茁的去迎戰下一個更強的自己。
長路盡處的燈火意味著黑夜不會長久的。在失落中的你就咬緊牙關走下去吧！燈火的背後或許是光明，或許是另一條更長更黑的路，不要怕，只要緊捏主的手，每一段路的盡頭總有歇腳處、有盼望，為要預備我們進入完全永恆的光明之中。不放棄便是對生命的誠意。就這樣帶著誠意向前邁進，雖然我也同在摸索，但必在你的附近，而主必在我們長路盡處的前方。
Sunday, October 7, 2007
入冬了！
當我己經從一輪病患之後痊癒過來的時候，我身旁的一眾好友都在生病...我只可說...唔關我事架！我病好好耐呢。香港的摯友在生病，這裡的好朋友也在生一個又如"滾筒式"的病。連小"吱吱"都不舒服，看見小朋友病都心痛。天氣轉涼了，大家要加添衣裳以免著涼。
早上的時候是特別意識到冬天來臨了。在暖粒粒的被窩中久久也不願起床，每早晨也例必‘look’一輪床才肯起身梳洗上班。媽媽是最好的，冬天的時候必先把洗手間的暖氣開了，讓我不必在超涷的洗手間內抖震。媽媽最細心，還有一杯熱騰騰的檸蜜，不但暖手、暖身、又潤喉仲暖心添！如果他日有幸成為別人的媽媽，我也希望有媽媽一半的溫柔、細心跟愛心就好了。
入冬了，要送暖是時候了！
早上的時候是特別意識到冬天來臨了。在暖粒粒的被窩中久久也不願起床，每早晨也例必‘look’一輪床才肯起身梳洗上班。媽媽是最好的，冬天的時候必先把洗手間的暖氣開了，讓我不必在超涷的洗手間內抖震。媽媽最細心，還有一杯熱騰騰的檸蜜，不但暖手、暖身、又潤喉仲暖心添！如果他日有幸成為別人的媽媽，我也希望有媽媽一半的溫柔、細心跟愛心就好了。
入冬了，要送暖是時候了！
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Lecture III - The Heart of Christian Spirituality: Falling for God (Gary W. Moon)
Religion vs. Righteousness -
Religion is whatever you and I do in order to get God to love us more than we think He wants to.
Righteousness is understood in the OT as a very different term. The chief end of man, is to serve God and enjoy Him Forever.
The 3 C's of Lasting Love -
1. Taking time for Conversation
2. Becoming honest enough for true Communion
3. Thristing God desire for Consummation
Practicing the Presence of God - require much desperation
Hearing God: staying close, discerning the sound of God's voice require and overall approach to live in which I organize my day around staying close to Him.
In mood for God: conversation, development a conversational relationship.
Honesty that leads to Communion - willingness vs. willfulness, overcoming fears and idols and accepting our personal cross.
Experiencing Union - Forgiveness to Reconciliation to Union with God through Christ.
Paul only quote Jesus 3 times, how can that be?? however, there are 64 times mentioning he is living in Christ, interested in Christ in us and actualizing in Christ.
Primary Goals - Dearly love and delight in the heavenly Father (unable to jot down complete notes)
Secondary Goals - these indeed are great goals, but not primary goal.
1. Profession of perfectly correct doctrine
2. Seeking for special experiences
3. Faithfulness to church
4. External conformity
5. Social relationship and responsiblity
The 3rd key problem -
Focusing man on training than TRANSFORMATION: we can train people to like something, but only Jesus transform people inside out.
VIM model for change -
re-Vision: trinity, aspect of savior
Intention: intentional about change, willing to embrace, comes from desperation of pain.
Means: spiritual disciplines transformations.
Religion is whatever you and I do in order to get God to love us more than we think He wants to.
Righteousness is understood in the OT as a very different term. The chief end of man, is to serve God and enjoy Him Forever.
The 3 C's of Lasting Love -
1. Taking time for Conversation
2. Becoming honest enough for true Communion
3. Thristing God desire for Consummation
Practicing the Presence of God - require much desperation
Hearing God: staying close, discerning the sound of God's voice require and overall approach to live in which I organize my day around staying close to Him.
In mood for God: conversation, development a conversational relationship.
Honesty that leads to Communion - willingness vs. willfulness, overcoming fears and idols and accepting our personal cross.
Experiencing Union - Forgiveness to Reconciliation to Union with God through Christ.
Paul only quote Jesus 3 times, how can that be?? however, there are 64 times mentioning he is living in Christ, interested in Christ in us and actualizing in Christ.
Primary Goals - Dearly love and delight in the heavenly Father (unable to jot down complete notes)
Secondary Goals - these indeed are great goals, but not primary goal.
1. Profession of perfectly correct doctrine
2. Seeking for special experiences
3. Faithfulness to church
4. External conformity
5. Social relationship and responsiblity
The 3rd key problem -
Focusing man on training than TRANSFORMATION: we can train people to like something, but only Jesus transform people inside out.
VIM model for change -
re-Vision: trinity, aspect of savior
Intention: intentional about change, willing to embrace, comes from desperation of pain.
Means: spiritual disciplines transformations.
Friday, October 5, 2007
任天狗
媽媽從香港回來後沉迷了遊戲機。或許早前跟孫兒玩得多，自己也上癮了。這次她不單在家玩Wii，還從香港帶來Nintendo DS。一向都喜歡狗仔的媽媽，愛心大到連其中的一個飼養狗仔的玩意也沉迷起來。這幾天晚上就是在幫媽媽訓練這隻「任天狗」 (真不知道是誰起的名，好像粗口似的) ，為了紀念我兒時第一隻養的狗，這隻「任天狗」取名為ShuShu。經過一輪時間、精神和耐性的訓練，媽媽這隻「假狗」終於識遞手手同sit。平時仲要同佢沖涼，帶佢去街，買日用品等等。這個玩意真不適合我，若不是要逗媽媽開心，這些時間的投資…不值得。
從小我也不太嗜遊戲機，只有一段很短的時期對Street Fighter投入了一陣子。再者，看到哥哥這麼多年來也是一個遊戲機‘癡’，除了上班的時間就是坐在電腦前打機至深夜或天光。有時並會以互聯網與同是機癡的人交流心得，這些打機文化真不太懂。
昨天晚上，媽媽拿著「任天狗」說：「幫我開機，我想看看ShuShu呀！」
「媽媽，你剛剛才帶佢行完街，佢要瞓的！」
「我知，我只是想看一看，我不會嘈醒牠的。」
在地上不遠處的菲菲，很無奈。
從小我也不太嗜遊戲機，只有一段很短的時期對Street Fighter投入了一陣子。再者，看到哥哥這麼多年來也是一個遊戲機‘癡’，除了上班的時間就是坐在電腦前打機至深夜或天光。有時並會以互聯網與同是機癡的人交流心得，這些打機文化真不太懂。
昨天晚上，媽媽拿著「任天狗」說：「幫我開機，我想看看ShuShu呀！」
「媽媽，你剛剛才帶佢行完街，佢要瞓的！」
「我知，我只是想看一看，我不會嘈醒牠的。」
在地上不遠處的菲菲，很無奈。
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
謝謝你的愛
大家對我的愛滿得傾瀉了！其實我好多了！連香港的Auntie也致電來慰問，實不敢當。好像多了一個媽媽。
能認識這個主內的姊妹是一個額外的獎賞，求主祝佑在遠方的她，身體健康，並且Uncle早日信主。
活得簡單就是最大的幸福！求主賜我們都有一顆滿足的心。真惜愛我們和我們愛的人。
能認識這個主內的姊妹是一個額外的獎賞，求主祝佑在遠方的她，身體健康，並且Uncle早日信主。
活得簡單就是最大的幸福！求主賜我們都有一顆滿足的心。真惜愛我們和我們愛的人。
Monday, October 1, 2007
有媽的孩子像個寶
媽媽回來了。同時也病了，幸而媽媽在，病得沒有那麼傷感，因為人人都說感冒是很傷感的病。
晚飯時，媽媽總是說我太忙，沒時間休息，又夜瞓，又早起，食無定時，梗係病啦。媽媽在家的時候總是囉囉唆唆喋喋不休的。你怎麼又病了但總不見你瘦？怎麼菲菲那麼髒？雪櫃裡的東西為什麼還未食？哥哥的房間怎麼亂？後園的花怎麼都枯死了？媽媽說的都是。我要求爸爸媽媽不要離開我太久，他們不在的時候身心總是很容易疲累。媽媽卻說主耶穌可能很快接我回天家的，很難答應你ga bor。而爸爸卻一口答應了，我懷疑他根本沒有聽我在說什麼，只管求其答應這個在生病又永遠長不大的女兒。有時不是不知道如何照顧自己，只是懶和想被照顧一下。
今天和一摯友通電話，她和另一個摯友說起我來。「怎麼最近連芬芬也變得負面了？是不是我們的負面傳染了她？我們該做些什麼呢？」聽到她們的談話，心裡會心微笑。我沒有變得負面，只是家人不在身邊又面對著太多事，累了而已。說到底，雖然在教會做很多的事情，但在家仍是爸爸媽媽哥哥們的小妹妹，其實倚賴性很強。可以時必會選擇倚賴。
或許如小龍所言：「小病的感覺很有趣，不是太辛苦，但又會有人送暖；病好了還會不捨得的…說到底，只是希望被問候、被關心、被掛念而已。」
在此感謝一眾打電話和MSN來的弟兄姊妹們，你們的關懷，收到。
晚飯時，媽媽總是說我太忙，沒時間休息，又夜瞓，又早起，食無定時，梗係病啦。媽媽在家的時候總是囉囉唆唆喋喋不休的。你怎麼又病了但總不見你瘦？怎麼菲菲那麼髒？雪櫃裡的東西為什麼還未食？哥哥的房間怎麼亂？後園的花怎麼都枯死了？媽媽說的都是。我要求爸爸媽媽不要離開我太久，他們不在的時候身心總是很容易疲累。媽媽卻說主耶穌可能很快接我回天家的，很難答應你ga bor。而爸爸卻一口答應了，我懷疑他根本沒有聽我在說什麼，只管求其答應這個在生病又永遠長不大的女兒。有時不是不知道如何照顧自己，只是懶和想被照顧一下。
今天和一摯友通電話，她和另一個摯友說起我來。「怎麼最近連芬芬也變得負面了？是不是我們的負面傳染了她？我們該做些什麼呢？」聽到她們的談話，心裡會心微笑。我沒有變得負面，只是家人不在身邊又面對著太多事，累了而已。說到底，雖然在教會做很多的事情，但在家仍是爸爸媽媽哥哥們的小妹妹，其實倚賴性很強。可以時必會選擇倚賴。
或許如小龍所言：「小病的感覺很有趣，不是太辛苦，但又會有人送暖；病好了還會不捨得的…說到底，只是希望被問候、被關心、被掛念而已。」
在此感謝一眾打電話和MSN來的弟兄姊妹們，你們的關懷，收到。
Thoughts about Spirituality...
In light of God’s word and absorption from the different people’s writing, there are some thoughts about spirituality. It is a journey of going through rubbles in the past, smiling at some faces who added value in life and fisting on some who brought hurt. Each and every piece of these experiences made sense to my spiritual life picture to become whole. I will try to put these scattered pieces together, but the thoughts might still be scattered at the end.
Spiritually contented is always seen as hopeful, joyful, pleasant, productive in ministry and vision-oriented. This is indeed, perfect! While I went through some down side of life, when I am spiritually hopeless, sadness, desolated, and lost, it is as well part of the spiritual walk.
“A healthy faith gets us through that dark valley. Unhealthy faith makes you pretend the valley doesn’t even exist!”
What a hypocrite I am to pretend things are always fine, rather admitting the reality and speak to HIM of the precise condition is true. Spiritual hypocrite tends to ‘muscle up’ the spiritual experience, by completing, achieving and accomplishing the deeds. When I did these, I felt good about myself, indeed, I felt too good about myself. This is like a sugar coated pill, it makes me feel good just by swallowing it but would never find out what’s really inside. It is a self deception that the pill would do spiritual life good, rather the pill toxic it. This kind of ‘spiritual high’ doesn’t last and sustaining it causes exhaustion.
When the dust settled and in stillness, the true longing and desire within started to unfold. I mourned at the lost of friendship, the once very close fellowship serving experience died which I don’t have a chance to grief but to make a sharp turn to pretend nothing has ever happened and lead the rest to move on. It suffers my spiritual life.
And in stillness… God reveals the evilness within me, the unrighteous thoughts, self-justification and lust. I don’t feel good anymore about myself of what a sinner I actually am. Those hurting incidents and people started to dim in the light of God’s grace and forgiveness. The grudge holds against those who brought hurt were released.
In the midst of all these, Jesus shattered some dreams, ungodly relationship, deceiving spiritual experience and self-protection, however for what He shattered and took away, He replaced with Himself. Jesus sees it all and thinks that it is a good picture, and He likes it very much.
Spiritually contented is always seen as hopeful, joyful, pleasant, productive in ministry and vision-oriented. This is indeed, perfect! While I went through some down side of life, when I am spiritually hopeless, sadness, desolated, and lost, it is as well part of the spiritual walk.
“A healthy faith gets us through that dark valley. Unhealthy faith makes you pretend the valley doesn’t even exist!”
What a hypocrite I am to pretend things are always fine, rather admitting the reality and speak to HIM of the precise condition is true. Spiritual hypocrite tends to ‘muscle up’ the spiritual experience, by completing, achieving and accomplishing the deeds. When I did these, I felt good about myself, indeed, I felt too good about myself. This is like a sugar coated pill, it makes me feel good just by swallowing it but would never find out what’s really inside. It is a self deception that the pill would do spiritual life good, rather the pill toxic it. This kind of ‘spiritual high’ doesn’t last and sustaining it causes exhaustion.
When the dust settled and in stillness, the true longing and desire within started to unfold. I mourned at the lost of friendship, the once very close fellowship serving experience died which I don’t have a chance to grief but to make a sharp turn to pretend nothing has ever happened and lead the rest to move on. It suffers my spiritual life.
And in stillness… God reveals the evilness within me, the unrighteous thoughts, self-justification and lust. I don’t feel good anymore about myself of what a sinner I actually am. Those hurting incidents and people started to dim in the light of God’s grace and forgiveness. The grudge holds against those who brought hurt were released.
In the midst of all these, Jesus shattered some dreams, ungodly relationship, deceiving spiritual experience and self-protection, however for what He shattered and took away, He replaced with Himself. Jesus sees it all and thinks that it is a good picture, and He likes it very much.
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