一目十行

古時的人能一目十行，如果我有這本領有多好呢！

自覺懂得太少或許是年老的特徵，想把餘生的時間都投放於書本中。別人看書為了自我增值，我看書卻沒有多少增值的價值，只是一些基本文學的追求和出於興趣。最近抵受不住誘惑，買了近乎十本書。各式各樣的話題也有。跟自己說過不要再逛書店，怎料又給網上書店引去了。不要誤會所有書都是買給自己的，有幾本是送給別人的呢。

當每天睡前埋頭看書的時候，心裡都有莫名的興奮。邊看邊點頭、邊看邊哭、邊看邊說啊門、亦讚嘆又感慨也暗然…看書真的很有樂趣。學海真的是無涯，唯勤也不知何時上岸。

Thoughts on Being Different

A week ago, the devotion from ‘Through the Bible Through the Year’ is about Samuel who was requested by the people of Israel to anointed them a king. Samuel has multiple roles being a priest, a prophet, and a judge to the Israelites. The scripture mentioned that the Israelites have no king in their heart, they do what is fit as they saw. Since the beginning, the governing that God has designed is nothing like monarchy of any kind. God, who is the king of the universe never see himself to us at a higher rank, but conversed with Moses and Abraham like a friend. It is the last thing that God would do to rule over the Israelites with a king. This passage is in and out of my mind throughout the week…

How fatigue it is to keep up with the trend, gauging myself with all others, just to fit in and be able to be recognized. Israelites’ mistake yesterday, is now my/our struggle today. God’s plan and His design on us are unique. From time to time, I trapped myself in such struggle. Whining and upsetting at myself and to God just because I am ‘different’. Hesitating at God’s and other’s love just because I felt that I am not treated equally. During the days of the Israelites, I bet they have similar thoughts. Rationalizing that God doesn’t love them, because they are left alone without a structured governing system like the other neighboring countries. Samuel the prophet, the priest and the judge, under tremendous pressure, has no other choice, but to ordain Saul as the first king and started the monarchy era.

Courage and faith are all it takes to be different. Being courageous to stand alone with no acquaintance of the same kind and being faithful to walk forward with unhesitant steps.

Dear Lord, being different is not secure at all, in terms of feeling.
Being different becomes too adventurous when I am weak in faith.
Being different requires lots of courage and faith.
But… being different is what you have in mind for me and for those who think they stand alone, please give us strength and endurance in proportion to the anxiety that arose with it. Amen.

The Fullness of Christ

For all that I knew about Christ, I know none.
For all that He is, is nothing I am.
For all that He is not, is everything I am.

Christ is…………………………I am…
The first born…………………………the creature
Image of the invisible God…………………………alienated from God
Before all things…………………………enemies to God
The head of the body…………………………blemished & accusable
All fullness dwells…………………………not at peace with Him

For all that He reconciled on the cross through the death of Christ’s physical body, is all in His fullness dwelt.

This is the kind of passage must read with imagination of how grand and majestic it is Paul is trying to describe the supremacy of Christ. It is like watching a clip with Paul’s baritone voice narrating the scripture while the clip precludes with a rolling back of the dark at the first streak of dawn while the sun rises above the horizon, and the shimmering edges of the clouds glow brighter and brighter as the dawn rolls in. The little bird breaks through the egg shell just to have the first peek of the world while the rain drops on the drought land at afar. A close up of a rose bud flourishing and dying, and a field of sunflowers turn as the sun arches across the sky at a snapshot. Then, stand at the feet of the mountain gazing at the vast creation of God. How great thou art! “For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him…” (Col. 1:15-23)

Live a life worthy of the Lord

While I am coughing my lungs out these days and absorbing myself with all kinds of medication and inhaling mist days and nights, I am also submerging myself in God’ breath. Colossians is one of the favorite among the favorites.

"For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." Colossians 1:9-14

It’s kind of a long passage filled with abundant substances which take quite a while to fully digest. Here are two points that I am pondering upon...

1. Pray for the spiritual wisdom and understanding
The result of praying such is that we will be living a life worthy of the Lord. The questions then will be I am living a life that is not worthy of the Lord. How dreadful and shameful it is to be a living spiritual entity, claiming and enjoying all God given blessing provident, however not living according to which that name should have acquired. I have to admit my poorness in spiritual wisdom because I am blind to see what lies beyond the presence. While the circumstance is not making sense at all, pray for wisdom.

2. God rescue us from darkness and brought us into light. In the midst of all the 'not-so-good' things happened around us that God would want us to pray in order to know His will and being strengthened with great endurance and patience. - which I decided to stop whining but to give praise to God that I am actually made qualified to the event, that requires endurance and patience, God particularly assigned to me, because those are, together with the good ones, inheritance from our loving Father.

Lord, please teach me how to live a life worthy of you, and rescues me from the darkness and bring me into your kingdom of life.

展開清晨的翅膀

詩篇139篇- 不得不為主寫一遍...

From 木子羽卒十分十

打打氣

現實有時真使我們招架不住，一個又一個衝擊。我們不敢向別人訴說心中有多不安，就跟天父說吧！因為衪顧念我們，祂是我們的救贖主。

謝謝你的一通電話，環境有多難，世界有多殘酷，人心有多冷淡，你有多無助，請不必沮喪！悲鳴總會過去，希望總在前頭，而我正與你同行在現在的黑暗中同步邁向光明。我不憑什麼勸你，只用信心宣告，因為我也很軟弱。

求主藉這歌為在焦慮、迷惘、不信、無奈、失意、自責中的你、你、你…打打氣！

我的救贖者活著

我知道我的救贖者活著，他是永活的主，當我在深谷迷失時，祂領我走正義路。我知道我的救贖者活著，他是永活的主，當我在曠野孤獨時，祂伴我作我的燈。我知道我的救贖者永遠活著，我必不再憂慮，我要在每一個日夜中，領受祂的豐盛之愛。我知道我的救贖者永遠活著，我靈不再沉睡，當號角響起的那一天，我將見祂榮光之面，我的救贖者永遠活著！

For I know Jesus reigns forevermore, my Savior and my King.
When I’m lost in the deep valley, He leads me back to His way

For I know Jesus lives forevermore, my Savior and my King.
When I’m alone in wilderness, His light shines upon my path.

For I know my Redeemer lives forever. My heart will not forget
He fills my every day and night with abundance of His life.

For I know my Redeemer lives forever. My heart will never fear
And on that day when that trumpet sounds, with my eyes I will see His face.

我的救赎者活着.mp3 -

Fearful Tears turn to Joyful Tears

February 23 of 2009 is quite a tough day. Not that the Dow slides 200 some points and reached the lowest ever since who knows when. Suffocating news broke out one after another. First was an employee of our company who has been working with the company for years died of cancer at a young age. I met her once at office but talked with her on the phone numerous times. The atmosphere in office soaked in a dead silence. Then was my parents’ friend at church whose life is on the edge because of cancer, suffering from radical weight lost and unconsciousness. Life is fragile. I hold my breath and suck in my tears. A dear friend might possibly of leaving us involuntarily. Yet, another one texted me of being unemployed months after graduation, while another being laid off on the same day. It is no doubt that life is tougher than ever. Economic recession, health issue, unemployment threats, mental pressure… how shall we then live? And how we shall then cope with a world that is so different from that we used to live in? My tears can suck back no more while sharing with a dear brother of how things were and what lies in the future. Fear, endless fear. I then speak to the Lord of the gigantic restless monster within me with more tears coming down my cheeks. After we talked, I fell into deep slumber.

This morning, the Lord sent good news from afar. An unexpected letter received from a long disconnected source which was once a reliable spiritual support. Her diary of mission work in China brought to me a vision away from present. Worries, restlessness, uncertainties, distrust, fear and stress are nothing in comparable to the Lord’s ministry. An email from the same friend, who is seeking for an employment, is actively sending out resumes and setting up interviews to keep her career dream alive. Tears gathered up in my eyes at the threshold of spilling. God is working in life of those who live in Mainland China who have a heart to seek the truth of life. He is also working in the heart of who has been beaten up so badly in serving and now still sees hope for career. He must also be working in those lives that are so miserable of what lies in the future. Life is tough but God is good! The Lord who provides us daily bread will give us the exact amount of strength we need to live through the day. Amen.

“It is wonderful that, in spite of Israel’s seemingly inveterate backsliding, Yahweh remained faithful to his covenant. “– Through the Bible Through the Year

踽踽獨行

正在休息期間的我，多了時間好好面對自己。分配時間看書、做運動、看電視、跟小組員聯誼、最為重要的是多給予自己時間思考和面對神。對於急性子的我，休息也需習慣。習慣沒有時間表和死線的界限，習慣當別人問及有關團契事情時說：我不知道，也要習慣不再做強者。當有回自己的小組，每個星期也和這班人混的時候，總要習慣坦坦白白禮貌地坦露情緒，大伙兒傾傾講講笑作一團最容易，有時要入題也得耐心揣摩，自己也多了幾分思量該坦誠分享到什麼程度。肢體生活總要各人也甘心脫下面具坦誠分享才對，我也是因這個才要求停下來歇歇的原因。熬過十年來獨自巡迴串組式的日子，若不是碰巧時機、人物、主題和氣氛都恰當就最好把心情留給自己。有些事情要從頭到尾講述一次，實也很費力。因此習慣了自動調整情緒，沒什麼大不了也不想煩著別人，也不想真有需要的人因自己的軟弱而省去求助的念頭，別人的傷心留給我處理吧，自己卻常擠出平淡溫和的態度最為實用。天父自然會對衪的忠僕有所安排。我不知是對還是錯，日子還是一樣的過，當發現口袋裡的屬靈存款所餘無幾，不可以熬多久時就停下腳步，不再踽踽獨行，泊在天父的胸膛憩息後才再出發。工作有時，休息有時；施予有時，接受有時；習慣有時，適應有時；獨行有時，同行有時；儘管要花時間去適應新的環境與人物也是值得的。過了兩個月的休憩期，伏在天父寬厚的肩膊，讓我看到那段踽踽獨行的路藏了多少的孤獨、妒嫉、苦澀、自卑、傲氣、疲憊，卻又同時伴和著很多快樂、滿足、恩惠、憂心、勇敢、信心和持守。不管是什麼事情，走到什麼階段，花了多久的時間，每一個段落的結束和下一個段落的起點也給人有歇息、蛻變的機會。往事總教人有綿長的感嘆，站在關口之間就倒不如享受變化，因為人生沒有多少時間會常處變化之中。沒有踽踽獨自晃過的日子也不懂珍惜與人真誠同行的珍貴。天父總不會要我們白白的晃。

有生之年

最近喜歡聽這個歌手的歌，她的歌都很舒服，其中有這一首...有生之年

窗外的太陽曬得那麼美
就像是你的笑臉 別讓它蒸發在六點
可能會烏雲遮住了光線
在秋天飄下了落葉 再多說也盡是無言

我體會愛情的美 在有生之年不後悔
沒有絕對也沒有完美 愛就像一陣風來去又回
我體會愛情的累 在有生之年夢最美
不想理會多餘的點綴 就讓愛還能有各自單飛的機會

窗外的太陽曬得那麼美
就像是你的笑臉 別讓它蒸發在六點
可能會烏雲遮住了光線
在秋天飄下了落葉 再多說也盡是無言

我體會愛情的美 在有生之年不後悔
沒有絕對也沒有完美 愛就像一陣風來去又回
我體會愛情的累 在有生之年夢最美
不想理會多餘的點綴 就讓愛還能有各自單飛的機會
誰都有後路可退 給堅強一個機會
再多的淚水都用生命愛過以後才對

我體會愛情的美 在有生之年不後悔
沒有絕對也沒有完美 愛就像一陣風來去又回
我體會愛情的累 在有生之年夢最美
不想理會多餘的點綴 就讓愛還能有各自單飛的機會
不想理會多餘的點綴 就讓愛還能有各自單飛的機會

Flower in The Rain

this very song, sung in my head while the rain drops keep falling and falling...
at times, God just let us be as vulnerable as we can and we… just abandoned ourselves in the wild, let the nature speaks and the voice from the very bottom of our heart cries… till the brokenness from the most inner part surrender… discharging of the captive… for the longing of intimacy and love…

You are the one, there’s no one else
Who lifts me up and gives me water from the well.
But there’s a hole that seems to drain it all away.
And once again I’m left in fear and doubt
When all my strength is crying out.

So, here I am again
Willing to be opened up and broken like a flower in the rain.
Tell me what have I to do to die and then be raised,
To reach beyond the pain like a flower in the rain?

The evil wind, it blows a storm to rock my world
Just when think I’m safe and warm.
I’m led astray far too easily.
It’s always hard for me to say I’m wrong,
Until I know I can’t go on.

So, here I am again
Willing to be opened up and broken like a flower in the rain.
Tell me what have I to do to die and then be raised,
To reach beyond the pain like a flower in the rain?

Lord, you have searched me and know
When I sleep and when I rise.
You’re familiar with all my ways.
Even the darkness will shine
Like the day when you look into my heart.

So, here I am again
Willing to be opened up and broken like a flower in the rain.
Tell me what have I to do to die and then be raised,
To reach beyond the pain like a flower in the rain,
Like a flower in the rain?

Flower In The Rain - Jaci Velasquez