同走一段

哥林多後書第一章，有一個字在短短幾節中出現了十一次。「安慰」，英文為comfort和consolation。明白了這個字原文的意思，覺得很有意思和更明白保羅對哥林多教會愛之深，責之切。

「安慰」，原釋為在旁說話的意思。也可翻為鼓勵、勸勉、代辯、求情之意。最為貼切的是這麼的一幅景象‧‧‧當一塊收割過和焚燒過後的農田，雖然火已熄滅，但地面仍熱氣騰騰的。若一個農夫要騎著馬從田的這邊到那邊是沒有可能的，農夫必須下馬，與馬肩并肩，拍著牠的頸項，手拉著彊繩一同走過被焚燒的田原。讓你的腳感到的，也是牠的腳感到的。聖靈是我們的「保惠師」，與「安慰」這字也有同一的字根。主耶穌賜下保惠師，常與我們同在，患難時相伴，痛苦時安慰，面對前路一片迷茫時又豈不是與我們肩并肩拍著我們的膊頭一同走過如火焚燒的田地嗎？想到這裡，心也給神的愛熔化了。神不知已陪我們走過多少段崎嶇的路。

「我們在一切患難中，他就安慰我們，叫我們能用神所賜的安慰，去安慰那遭各樣患難的人。我們既多受基督的苦楚，就靠基督多得安慰。」林後1:5-6

反醒：面對著主的話，總帶著歉疚的心，因沒有完全實踐把神所賜的安慰去安慰遭患難的人，走過艱苦的一段。雖然每天某程度上都在鼓勵幫助身邊的人，但捫心自問，有一些人是很避免去為他們付出的。其實有時心腸還真的很惡毒和自私，很想他們受到一些教訓，嘗一點苦。

Consolation這個字在差不多兩年前學到的，是Dr. John Coe講靈命塑造中的一課。配合這兩個牧師的揣釋，這經文變得更豐富。個人生命中與主同走每一段風高路斜或平靜安逸的路，在每一階段中嘗盡主豐富的安慰。也藉此來自主的安慰，溢散著同等的安慰和愛心與有需要的人同走某一段。

This vs. That

Now it happened as they went there He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me."

And Jesus answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things, But ONE thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:39-42

My relationship with Jesus is often like the story of these two sisters.

left me to serve alone?
At times, the feeling is quite like Martha, keep thinking.. "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?" I always have such thought, where are everybody? Aren’t they supposed to serve like me? It is so easy to pick on who is not doing what and who's doing it incorrectly. God spoke through this passage… We don't need police at church, catching other's mistake and be self-righteous. This kind of mentality is deadly.

worried and troubled about many things.
There’re too much on the plate!!! What a common phenomenon we Christians are serving in multiple tasks. We worried and troubled about many things. Ministerial scope is dilated but not focus. A multiple ministerial server requires a concentrated heart to focus on prayer and let go of control and manipulation.

Sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word
Often times, sitting down becomes a luxury activity. Sitting down seems symbolizing ineffective, inefficient and unproductive. It might be so if the sitting session is without a purpose. Sitting down at Jesus’ feet and hear His word means the whole world to us. Our presence at His feet is our greatest reliance. His word is our great comfort and wisdom to our life. His words give life.

Reflection that we ought to ask ourselves to our relationship with God while busily serving…
Is the “left me to serve alone?” question often asked in me?
Am I worried and troubled about many things?
Am I spending much time at Jesus’ feet and hear His word?
What is the ONE thing that I need that will not be taken away which worth my total attention now?

我深信在那各各他山頂

我深信在那各各他山頂

人一生在世如客旅轉眼逝去，

There are things as we travel this earth’s shifting sand

世上並無一處能久留；

That transcend all the reason of man;

雖然有名利財寶一生在追求，

But the things that matter the most in this world,

但不能使我永遠擁有。

They can never be held in our hand.

副歌Chorus:

我深信在那各各他山頂

I believe in a hill called Mount Calvary–

我救主曾為我被掛；

I’ll believe whatever the cost;

當歲月漸漸消失，世界成過去，

And when time has surrendered and earth is no more,

我仍願倚靠古舊十架。

I’ll still cling to that old rugged cross.

我深信基督既為人受死十架，

I believe that the Christ who was slain on that cross

今日能使你生命改變；

Has the power to change lives today;

因為祂曾改變我，賜我新生命，

For He changed me completely, a new life is mine,

我今願靠近十架身邊。

That is why by the cross I will stay.

我深信人生雖然如謎難測透，

I believe that this life with its great mysteries

有一天這一切將結束；

Surely some day will come to an end;

但因信我能得勝死亡與黑暗，

But faith will conquer the darkness and death,

到天家與我良友同住。

and will lead me at last to my friend.

今早跟在港的幼稚園同學聊天，有一個發現… 就是：越在乎就越脆弱。

那些瘋狂的小事叫愛情

今天是情人節，很多人都在慶祝，花盡心思去討好意中人。對於戀愛我從來都不太在行，但對於愛情，還可以說一說。愛是可以單方面的，戀愛卻是雙方面的。

愛是可以單方面，因為上帝的愛是單方面的。在我們還不懂上帝的愛時衪已深深的愛上了我們，而且愛得瘋狂。到我們明白並接受衪的愛時，我們才學懂怎樣和上帝戀愛。愛就是一件很瘋狂的事情。

因為愛，衪使地動天搖，崩山碎石，烈風大作，衪卻只在微聲中溫柔的呼喚衪愛的人。(王上19:12)

因為瘋，衪使日頭停住，約有一日之久。在這日以前，這日以後，衪專心聽衪愛的人的禱告，沒有像這日的。(書10:13-14)

因為狂，衪使日影往後退十度，改變宇宙的運作，是給衪所愛的人在病榻中禱告求延壽的兆頭。(王下20:10-11)

因為愛得瘋狂，衪成為人的樣式，經歷母腹中的孕育、學言語、學走路，走上十字架的路。衪是瘋狂了，因為衪愛的人從來也不值得衪這樣的愛著。

上帝愛人愛得瘋狂了。

衪視那些為小事，因為那些瘋狂的小事叫愛情。

Even on the most minor thing…

Book-aholic like me can’t survive without reading daily. The use of bookmark is very common. Last year, I brought all my bookmarks to China and gave out to the teachers. I survived my reading life without bookmark by using all kinds of different book marking tools, post-it, movie tickets, pen, $$ (yes, a dollar bill, so if you borrow book from me, please don’t’ take the money if you find one.), hair band…etc whatever that can slip between the pages. Thank God that Pastor Tam has prepared us ‘red pocket’ for Chinese New Year, I received two (one during prayer meeting in the morning and the other during fellowship as there are residual after the morning distribution.) I got two new bookmarks!! Yesterday, I was cleaning up my room, sorting through the miscellaneous items, found brand new bookmarks! It’s not a big miraculous amazing thing but surely God’s care is so considerate and so tender that He cares even on the most minor thing. Lovely.

A good problem to solve...

As 2008 started for a little more than a month, it is time to put practical plan and thought of whether I should go for a short term mission this year. The experience last year was great and hoping to be involved in missions again. This year... need to plan to apply for some legal documents for a more convenience access for traveling into China. The application process will be complicated as it requires another legal document from Macau before applying for the 'China Returning Card'. I have 'phobia' in legal documents application in Macau. This applicational process is a must, in order for future access for mission works in China. I know now is the time to plan to encounter such 'phobia'. Time matters... applying for Macau ID Card, 'China Returning Card' and missions will happen all together this year... only in His plan... please pray...

仍是最深刻一次

昨日是第一次參與新小組，對於分享都是很自制的，因為不想分享得太多、不想分享得太深、更不想分享得太老練。這晚的分享都很真誠、很由衷，因為是分享到自己是怎樣聽聞福音的經歷。每次以言語去分享那晚信主的過程都會再一次被主耶穌的愛觸動，每一次都會哽咽。


那次主到訪是一生都不會忘的事情，猶如香港某涼茶鋪多年前香港最後一個港督到訪，我相信店舖老板永不會忘記的一個客人。店舖長年都會掛著當時拍下的照片，久而久之老板都會跟客人分享的一個特別的經歷。那個只是一個小島一時的權威人士，已教被訪的人有如此的榮耀，更何彷那是創造天地萬物永遠作王的主宰呢。

那晚主到訪的經歷仍是最深刻一次。那次主為我死在十字架上的事實是前所未有的刻骨，那次看到自己確是個罪人而且非常醜陋，那次是面對爸爸破產的事實又絕望既又有倚靠的安穩，那次的眼淚是又憂愁又釋放又自卑又平安又有希望，是很複雜的一種心情。跟小組員分享時也忍不住心中對主的恩情。我想若在生命中曾出現一位令自己改變一生的人，這個經歷和那時的心情是不滅的。

“In the Name of Jesus” by Henri J.M. Nouwen

This is the first time reading a Nouwen book. I read a few of his devotion books in the past, didn’t really like it much may be because it is Chinese translated, the essence of the writing lost through the translation.

Rev. Ma references this book of Nouwen in his class. Out of my curiosity and ‘read-aholic’ addiction, I ordered this and a few other books of his, plus one book from my long time favorite author, Nicole Johnson. Once I picked up “In the Name of Jesus”, I can’t stop but finished it in a day, even I have 3 other assigned books to be read to fulfill my ministry and course obligation.

Here are some excerpts from the books which draw to me new perspectives on leadership, Christian service and spirituality…

From Relevance to Prayer --
“… Christian leader of the future is called to be completely irrelevant and to stand in this world with nothing to offer but his or her own vulnerable self.”

“… The leaders of the future will be those who dare to claim their irrelevance in the contemporary world as a divine vocation that allows them to enter into a deep solidarity with the anguish underlying all the glitter of success, and to bring the light of Jesus there.”

“A mystic is a person whose identity is deeply rooted in God’s first love… it is the discipline of dwelling in the presence of the One who keeps asking us, “Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me?” This is the discipline of contemplative prayer.”

From Popularity to Ministry –
“… He wants Peter to feed his sheep and care for the, not as “professionals” who know their client’s problems and take care of the, but as vulnerable brothers and sisters who know and are known, who forgive and are being forgiven, who love and are being loved.”

“Laying down your life means making your own faith and doubt, hope and despair, joy and sadness, courage and fear available to others as ways of getting to touch with the Lord of life.”

and this is my favorite one…

“The mystery of ministry is that we have been chosen to make our own limited and very conditional love the gateway for the unlimited and unconditional love of God.”

Amen??

From Leading to Being Led --
“… getting in touch with the mystery of leadership for a large part, means to be led.”

“What makes the temptation of power so seemingly irresistible? May be it is that power offers an easy substitute for the hard task of love. It seems easier to be God than to love God, easier to control people than to love people, easier to own life than to love life.”

“The world says, “when you were young you were dependent and could not go where you wanted, but when you grow old you will be able to make your own decisions, go your own way, and control your own destiny.” But Jesus has a different vision of maturity: It is the ability and willingness to be led where you would rather not go.” (In light of the passage where Jesus said to Peter, “when you were young you put on your belt and walked where you liked; but when you grow old you will stretch out your hands and somebody else will put a belt around you and take you where you would rather not go.” John21:18)

“Powerlessness and humility in the spiritual life do not refer to people who have no spine and who let everyone else make decisions for them. They refer to people who are so deeply in love with Jesus that they are ready to follow him wherever he guides them, always trusting that, with him, they will find life and find it abundantly.”

“… since God’s presence is often a hidden presence, a presence that needs to be discovered. The loud, boisterous noises of the world make us deaf to the soft, gentle, and loving voice of God. A Christian leader is called to help people to hear that voice and so be comforted and consoled.”

He said: "I Love You!"

It's a long day today, but it is really nice to hear him say, "I Love You" to wrap up the day. As I got home from the exhausted day, he ran up to me giving me a big hug with his little hands... so sweet... your heart just melt... that's the exact word we all need at "home". I love you too, baby.

God on High...

God on High...
From "Les Miserables"
Music by Claude-Michel Schoenberg
Lyrics by Herbert Kretzmer and Alain Boublil

God on high
Hear my prayer
In my need
You have always been there

He is young
He's afraid
Let him rest
Heaven blessed.
Bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home.

He's like the son I might have known
If God had granted me a son.
The summers die
One by one
How soon they fly
On and on
And I am old
And will be gone.

Bring him peace
Bring him joy
He is young
He is only a boy.

You can take
You can give
Let him be
Let him live.
If I die, let me die
Let him live, bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home.