Thoughts about Spirituality...

In light of God’s word and absorption from the different people’s writing, there are some thoughts about spirituality. It is a journey of going through rubbles in the past, smiling at some faces who added value in life and fisting on some who brought hurt. Each and every piece of these experiences made sense to my spiritual life picture to become whole. I will try to put these scattered pieces together, but the thoughts might still be scattered at the end.

Spiritually contented is always seen as hopeful, joyful, pleasant, productive in ministry and vision-oriented. This is indeed, perfect! While I went through some down side of life, when I am spiritually hopeless, sadness, desolated, and lost, it is as well part of the spiritual walk.

“A healthy faith gets us through that dark valley. Unhealthy faith makes you pretend the valley doesn’t even exist!”

What a hypocrite I am to pretend things are always fine, rather admitting the reality and speak to HIM of the precise condition is true. Spiritual hypocrite tends to ‘muscle up’ the spiritual experience, by completing, achieving and accomplishing the deeds. When I did these, I felt good about myself, indeed, I felt too good about myself. This is like a sugar coated pill, it makes me feel good just by swallowing it but would never find out what’s really inside. It is a self deception that the pill would do spiritual life good, rather the pill toxic it. This kind of ‘spiritual high’ doesn’t last and sustaining it causes exhaustion.

When the dust settled and in stillness, the true longing and desire within started to unfold. I mourned at the lost of friendship, the once very close fellowship serving experience died which I don’t have a chance to grief but to make a sharp turn to pretend nothing has ever happened and lead the rest to move on. It suffers my spiritual life.

And in stillness… God reveals the evilness within me, the unrighteous thoughts, self-justification and lust. I don’t feel good anymore about myself of what a sinner I actually am. Those hurting incidents and people started to dim in the light of God’s grace and forgiveness. The grudge holds against those who brought hurt were released.

In the midst of all these, Jesus shattered some dreams, ungodly relationship, deceiving spiritual experience and self-protection, however for what He shattered and took away, He replaced with Himself. Jesus sees it all and thinks that it is a good picture, and He likes it very much.